im no mama's girl

im no mamas girl. id like to make it clear in my previous blog entry that even though ive taken side and choose my mom it doesnt mean that i dont any grudge against her. during the night of the argument, she had to sleep in my room again. its was already 1am that i had the urge to sleep. i am to get up early to make up for my 8:30am class. at that exact time my dad arrived. she asked me to bring her the telephone line. as usual she talked to her number one neighbor and kumare. i was already tired. tossing and turning in my bed. and when i really sighed hard that when she realized that its fucking 2am in the morning. before that she said what her real plans are. she want to sell our businesses then never to be back, bring my little brother with her and then never care what happens to the ones left behind. the only word that i said to her was "selfish". we had our sleep. then in the morning, she had to wake me up around 6am. i planned not to attend my first class because i was droggy. what can she expect? and she comments that im not interested in my studies. and then i said. "intindihin mo naman ako. 2am na tyao natulog. pagod pa ako." and she back sassed me and said "anong ibig mong sabihin?" haha! she did get what im trying to tell her. if it wasnt for her, i would have had a nice quiet soundly sleep alone! "wag ka nalang mag aral, putang ina ka. sawang sawa na ako." im so sick and tired of hearing the same old fucking lines. it really pissed me off. i think she donest know what its like to travel from laguna to manila everyday. the smoke, the traffic and its even worst when it rains! im not supposed to be involved with their marital problems! argh! im hate them both. i decided that i will make her statements true. ill be no longer interested in finishing and then get married. haha! i wish, im no idiot. ill finish my sem then ill go to work. at my very first pay day, ill look for a place to stay or rent. i want to be away from them, never to hear or see them. as much as i want to finish, i can't. my mom wont get off my back, wont trust me, keeps nagging and worst blaming me how her life turned to hell. so yes, im an unwated child, so why not put me to adoption? sickos. no, im going to stand in my own feet. ill prove to them that they are wrong. i have high hopes and dreams. and ill never going to stop reaching for them. making my life better than theirs.