just to make it fair. :]

for nineteen years of my life i witness my mom and dad through countless arguments and likes. every time that would happen, i get to be the referee. i admit i feel like im the one taking all the hurtful words, all the ranting, bitching, punching, kicking and slapping around. i took hits as well whenever i stand my ground and fight for our right. im the victim around here, i mean all of us! and im fucking sick of it! and tonight, my mom asked me what she plans and want to do; to run away and never to comeback. honestly, i agree. i totally understand and accept it. ive been telling her that a long time ago. i want to set her free. give her a break! she had have enough! i heard, saw and felt everything. its unfair for her and for us to suffer for the rest of our lives just because of a simple mistake.



so maybe running away and escaping reality wont solve our problem. but there is no choice left! we talked to a deaf ear. he thinks that he's the greatest and the perfect father alive. doesnt want change for the better. for a while yes and then he'd be back to the same old routine. you can never really teach an old dog a new trick. he is hopeless. and sometimes, i pray awful things about him. ah! love and hate. i dont have respect for him.

who would if you know that he hurts his wife in front of their kids? your neighbors? your customers?

who would if he doesnt want to support you and worst he even nags or complaints every time we ask for a little money for our projects?

who would if he himself doesnt have a dream for you and only thinks of himself?

all he cares about is his money, his food, drinking with friends till he drops!, watching tv and of course bossing people around. all his plans are intended for his own benefit only. ooh by the way, he likes sarcastic comments and derogatory remarks on people which make it far more disgusting.

should i call him father, daddy? no. he's not even fit to call him a man. he's just crap.

i can never change the fact that he is still my biological father; my own blood and flesh but people can never ever blame me from taking away the respect he should have because he doesnt deserve one single bit. acknowledgment is enough.

forgiveness. maybe when he dies. seriously.
cruel am i? but he is cruel as well. just the right thing to make it fair. :]